Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
