i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
wow bdsm is so cute
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
