I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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