:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
