no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
