we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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