If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
