You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
