ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
