he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
we're so committed to being not committed
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