so let's talk penis.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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