Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
