Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
