Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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