Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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