I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
