Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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