I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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