Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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