there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Ladies don't puke and tell
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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