I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
