when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
