Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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