It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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