I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
