You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize