Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
