This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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