So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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