craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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