My hair reeks of homosexuality.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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