Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
