Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
