While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
