is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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