So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
