you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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