I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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