mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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