I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
