if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize