Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
