i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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