I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
