I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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