Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
