She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
