Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
