no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize