turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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