I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
