i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
