elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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