she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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