Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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