i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
be right there i have to get my cape
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize