dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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