Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
