I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
