Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
either way he was missing a nipple.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
