I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
