Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
