She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
