I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
